Destiny Gears: Diary
by Diabolic Tracer
Summary: A side thing to my "Yu-Gi-Oh! VRAINS: Destiny Gears" story. In a long-forgotten diary, the ghosts of the past will share the stories of their lives and their downfalls. Their unheard warnings echo through the diary, along with a single question that they all try to answer. Is there hope?


**At first, I was against publishing this as a separate story, but since I've seen that other VRAINS writers have posted side-information like Special Chapters and such as side stories, I choose to publish this as a one-shot. You can take this little something as a backstory for one, or several (?) of the characters of my story "****Yu-Gi-Oh! VRAINS: Destiny Gears****".**

* * *

**May 20 20XX**

I just can't understand what happened. My mama and papa weren't always there, but they loved me, I know that they did. But they didn't show up when those men came to take me. They said that mama and papa were gone, and I didn't want to believe them, but mama and papa never came for me.

But I'm not in a bad place. The men brought to this big house filled with children, I heard that it was called an orphanage – apparently, this is where children without parents go, but I had mama and papa, so why was I taken too?

The place is good, I was able to make a lot of friends and our caretakers never tell us to stop playing. Only the food isn't always what I like to eat, but I don't want to look like a crybaby when everyone else is eating the same thing as me. Only bad thing is that sometimes my friends could be mean to another girl. I don't know her name, my friends said that it didn't matter, but I felt bad for the way they treated her.

I tried to talk with her a few times, but she always avoided me. I don't know why she doesn't want to talk to me, maybe it was because I was taller than her? Well, most of us were taller than her. Maybe that was why she didn't talk because the other tall kids bullied her.

Mama always told me that I should be nice to people, so I wasn't offended by her not wanting to talk with me. I tried to tell my friends that maybe they were going too far, but they told me that it was just fun. One day, I saw Malty hit the girl, that was definitely not fun, so I stepped in and told them to stop. They seemed angry at me and told me that we weren't friends anymore before walking off.

After I helped the small girl, she thanked me and actually introduced herself. Her name was Miuko, and apparently, she has been hit a lot even before I came to this orphanage. I told her that it wasn't good, but she didn't seem to mind, telling me that no one else really cared - I was the only one.

* * *

**May 27 20XX**

I got to know Miuko a lot better since our first talk. Though I must admit, there wasn't much to know. She didn't seem to know much about herself, and what she knew, she didn't share with me. For instance, when I asked about why she came to the orphanage, she just says that the policemen brought her there, but declined to tell me why the policemen took her. All I know is that unlike me, she didn't have any parents.

Not everything was great. After I helped Miuko, my old friends began to target me as well. Now, I wasn't strong, but I was definitely smart. So every time they tried to bully me or Miuko, I would go to the ladies and tell them, they would scold them, but the others would still pick on us the next day. I was understanding what Miuko meant by no one else cares.

These days were rough. I wanted to tell them to stop and to hit someone, but I was scared to do so because of their numbers. But Miuko is always there with me. She helps me up. She told me that it was better to say inside the room, so we could close the door when we saw the others coming.

We spent most of our time in the bedrooms talking. Of course, because as I mentioned Miuko wasn't very talkative, I was the one who talked more. Now that I write this, I feel bad for talking so much about my life and happy I was with mama and papa while Miuko didn't know her mama and papa.

But she seemed to smile while I talked about my life. I heard that parents could still adopt children, so when mama and papa come back for me, I'll tell them to adopt Miuko, so we could still be together. Even better, because we'll be sisters – literally! Miuko was very happy about this idea and told me that she would pray for mama and papa to find us soon!

* * *

**June 6 20XX**

The other children were getting meaner, but I was starting to get used to it and was often able to outsmart them and get them in trouble. I know that this wasn't right, but I didn't want them to bully Miuko, so I did what I felt was good. But despite how much I tried, I remember that one day, during lunch, I saw red and blue arms on her arms and under her eye. When I asked if she was ok, she just nodded without saying anything back.

Last night, Miuko woke me up. I don't know what time it was, but outside was very dark, and everyone else was sleeping. She told me that instead of waiting for mama and papa to get here, we should go and look for them. I'm not so sure about going out alone, but there weren't any bullies, so I asked what she was suggesting for us to do if the ladies caught us running, we would be in a lot of trouble.

Miuko reassured me that she had a plan that was in the development. I'm not sure what she meant, but our plan was to leave the orphanage three days from now. Because of that today I was trying to sneak a little food during lunch. But the others saw me and after lunch, they came and took it from me, so that was a failure.

Miuko, on the other hand, was able to hide some food without being spotted. I'm not sure how she was able to do it, but she was here longer than me, so she must have practiced.

In only a few days, we would leave this building. I don't know how I feel about this place. At first, I was happy to be here, had a lot of friends and never got in trouble, but now, I just don't want to stay here anymore. I didn't want to worry if Miuko was being beaten while I wasn't with her.

* * *

**June 10 20XX**

I don't know what happened, I don't know how, all I remembered was that I and Miuko were walking toward a city when a light appeared in front of us, and then there was some loud noise after which everything began to hurt. When the pain stopped, I was in a bed inside a white room. A doctor asked me about mama and papa, and why I was on the street so late at night.

I was afraid of telling the doctor that I and Miuko ran from the orphanage. Instead, I asked where Miuko was. The doctor, he told me that Miuko was in a very bad situation and that they were doing their best, but I didn't understand what he meant. All I wanted was to see Miuko, but he told me that she was in an operation and I couldn't see her.

The next two days were painful. The police came and tried to take me back to the orphanage, but I hid. I tried to spend any moment I could next to Miuko's room, watch her from behind the glass. She looked awful, covered in bandages with cables coming out of her hands and going into some machines. The doctors and nurses allowed me to stay there, sometimes someone would give me something to eat, while they were treating her.

I sat outside, praying for Miuko to get better soon. Sometimes I heard the doctors talking about her, saying that there 'wasn't much' they could do. After I heard that, I began to pray more. Praying that Miuko would get better. I prayed and he heard me. One day a man, no, an angel, dressed in pitch black came to me, with a smile warmer than the summer.

He sat down next to me and asked me. He asked me why I was sitting there, praying, who Miuko was to me. He was the only person to whom I told about how I and Miuko ran from the orphanage. I told him about the car crash and how bad Miuko's health was. He, in turn, told me that there was a way to help Miuko heal! He had the ability to make it so that I and Miuko would never separate if I wanted to.

Of course, I accepted. He smiled and told me that after this, I and Miuko would be able to live happily together, then he took me to a nearby restaurant for a 'proper lunch'. He was very nice to me, even brought me an ice cream before leading me back to the hospital. Before talking, he told me that he would be back tomorrow when my wish would be fulfilled. I was so happy! I and Miuko will be together again! There's still hope!

* * *

**Jule 11 20XX**

I thought that all the bad things which could happen to me have already happened. I thought that there wasn't anything that could hurt me more than the car accident. All I remember after those lights blinded me, were moments of agony, pain so strong and intense that everything turned black. I don't remember what I dreamed, but it was bad, I didn't like it. It was a bad dream, but not a nightmare.

The nightmare began when I woke up. I found myself in some kind of underground, lying on an uncomfortable bed with restrains keeping my arms and legs firmly against the bed. But next to mine, was another bed. Lying there, was me, covered in bandages. I thought that I was still dreaming, that it was another bad dream, but a voice called toward me and I saw a man, no, a pitch black demon standing next to my bed with a smile that made me feel sick in the stomach. It was the type of smile that bad adults would use to try and trick us into thinking that we were safe with them.

He asked me for my name, of course, I answered Miuko, though something about my voice was off. This seemed to make his smile to only go wider as he undid the restraints that held me down. I wanted to run, but I wasn't going to be able to. He assured me that the metal door was locked and could be unlocked only at his order. He then brought me a mirror to take a look at myself.

What I saw in the mirror wasn't me, but Sereny. He explained to me, explained how Sereny wanted me to heal quickly, and how she willingly gave her body. I didn't want you to do this, Sereny! I didn't mind dying for you to be happy, but I couldn't continue living without you. You were the only person that showed kindness to me through my entire life, and now, I was forced to see your face every time I tried to look into the mirror.

I wanted him to reverse it! To bring your mind back, but he told me that a human's brain could hold only one consciousness and when I was placed in, you were erased, permanently! Now I had to move, using your legs, to hold things using your hands, see, hear and smell the world through your body.

Why Sereny? Why did you abandon me in this cruel world?

* * *

**June 23 20XX**

When I was freed from the hospital, I expected the police to come and take me back to the orphanage. But instead, it was that demon, Evan was his name I believe. He came, saying that he has adopted me and that I would live with him now. After that, he called me Sereny. I hated it. I hated being called you, I didn't deserve to be you, but he forced me to be you.

He told me that he was expecting great things from me, that I had what it takes to make him proud. I don't know what that demon meant by those words, I don't care. After he took me to his home, he forced me to learn how to play Duel Monsters. I didn't want to, I wasn't interested, but when I told him that, he just hit me and threatened to do much worse if I didn't do as he said. He said that as his daughter, it would be my duty to become the strongest Duelist.

The training I'm going through is harsh. The Duel Disk that he gave me was heavy, and every time I failed to meet the criteria, it would electrocute me. There was another girl there, she was much older than me, or you, Sereny. Her name was Arme and she was kind towards me. He was trained her to duel as well, but he wasn't so harsh against her. At least not unless she's dueling me. Yes, he often made us duel against each other. If I lost, I would be electrocuted twice as bad as if I made a regular mistake, and when Arme loses. Well, she was much stronger than me, so usually I was the one who suffered, but one time, she lost on purpose to spare me of the pain.

Those screams, I can still hear them during the night…

But that was his merciful side. A few times, he had us duel against him. Of course, neither of us stood any chance, he defeated us both without even trying hard. Losing to him was already painful enough, his dueling was brutal and merciless, just like him, with his monsters being nothing short from terrifying. Usually, after a duel like this, he would praise Arme, tell her how much she has been improving and how stronger she was, while I would be called a disappointment and forced to work even harder, with more severe punishments.

I often cry during the short breaks he gave me. His sister, a girl that was around our age, would often sit next to me and say things to calm me down. And I believed her at first. I thought that if I tried hard enough, I would be able to prove myself enough for him to lessen the punishments. I quickly grew out of that fantasy. I should be dead, Sereny. My body died, he took me by force to my own funeral.

But I wasn't dead. Not yet. But I can't take it anymore, Sereny. Living this life is awful, but waking up every morning only to look in the mirror and reminder that I'm here because you aren't – it's torture.

* * *

**September 19 20XX**

I'm still managing to stay alive, Sereny. I do as he says, his orders are the only thing that is keeping me alive. Failure results in punishment, so I try not to fail, I sometimes cheat, he noticed, but he doesn't mind. But I still lose. Against Arme, against him, Failure results in punishment, but it doesn't hurt as much as it used to anymore.

He told me that to be such a failure after so much training was unforgivable and increased the voltage at which I would be electrocuted, but I sense it as less. I'm just numb from the pain. His sister once asked me why if I was ok, and when I told her yes, she asked me why I was crying. It made me feel funny, Sereny. I was crying without realizing it, it was funny.

I'm losing my mind, Sereny! Every day I spent here, a piece of my sanity dies! Soon, I will become what he wants! I will become his daughter, a reflection of him!

Honestly, I stopped writing this journal. At first, I kept writing it, hoping that when you take back control, you would know what happened. I accepted that you won't come back, that I'll be stuck in this body until I die, or until it dies, and he moves me to a new one to continue this nightmare I live in. I only returned to write it, because the emotions inside of me are going to explode if I don't write them down.

Today, he called me to the training room. But instead of training, he congratulated me for how far I have come. He said that I was finally starting to show a tiny bit of potential, and as a reward, he gave me a deck made 'specially for me'. At first, I thought that he was rewarding me, I was happy, but then I saw the deck, I saw the top card. Its name was Grand Ranger Serene. The card was you. Another sick reminded that you died to give me life.

I wanted to tear it apart, burn the damn card, erase it along with the memory. All of the memories about you! But I couldn't. He stopped me, said that if something happened to this card, the same will happen to me. If it burns, I'll burn with it, if it gets torn, I will be torn apart as well. Fear guided me to follow his words, to accept that 'gift'. But I hated it. I hate you for putting me through this torture!

Even now, the card is next to me, like it's staring into my head, projecting all those awful memories I want to forget, but it won't let me. Every time I summon it, I must say Serene. So close to Sereny. It keeps reminding me of you! But I hate you! I know that you didn't give me your body to save me, but to save yourself. To free yourself from this world by placing me in a new prison! And you know what? If I could turn back time, I would have run away from you when you helped me that time at the orphanage. I would have avoided you like the plague.

* * *

**October 11 20XX**

Note the date above when you read this. Yes, it's been four months. All it took was four whole months since my rebirth for me to understand what I had to do. I'm tired. I can't take those memories haunting me anymore. I can't look at the card Grand Ranger Serene without breaking down into tears and fits of rage. I broke down completely, I'll never be repaired. Miuko, she was dying, I was dying. Everything that used to be me, it was slowly getting replaced by something twisted, something evil. I was becoming him.

But I'm going to end this cursed circle!

If you've read this journal all the way to this point, you should understand why I've tried to keep it hidden so well. He broke me. Like he broke everyone else, as he will long after I'm gone. Believe me, if I could, I would have stopped this myself, but I can't. Not anymore. I'm broke, and I'll only continue to break if I stay here any longer. There's already an urge to kill, it burns inside my chest like an inferno. It's like I'm a junky that needs her drugs, but instead of drugs, I need a murder, blood. To kill anything, even an insect.

I can't take it anymore, this fake life, I don't want it. I don't want that monster he created inside my mind to win over.

This is all I can give you. It's not much, I know. It's not anything at all, but it's the best. Don't look for any hidden messages, don't try to find out what happened to me after this. I'll be dead once I write this last entry. I know that because I'll be the one to do it. I only don't know what'll happen to me afterward. Will the world ever learn? Will he allow the world to know that I died, or will he just displace of my body quietly? Even if the world knows, it'll know what he tells them. I didn't want to believe it, but the world truly is his.

But, I have hope. In tomorrow. In you, the reader. I entrust everyone's future to you. Give the world hope.

* * *

**May 15 20XX**

Ok, so, I don't know how to do this. Um, I have never done a digital journal before, so this is all new for me. Anyway, I'll go to the point now. My name is Roxanna Petit. My online alias is Proxy. Yes, that Roxy, Playmaker's sidekick. The sidekick who failed to stop the Tower of Hanoi, the sidekick responsible for the deaths of thousands.

I'm aware that I shouldn't have written that last part down, but I had to. I want you to know the truth, the whole truth. I failed. I failed a lot of people, many of whom were my friends.

But I'm not writing this to get pity points. Truth is, in the last few weeks a lot of things happened to me. I used to just be a normal girl, who never imagined myself being a part of something so dark. But things happened, many things that I never expected to happen. I got dragged into a war, I had no place into. And in the last four days, I learned truths that I still can't wrap my head around.

I, actually, wasn't supposed to be in this city, so far away from home. I don't know how I came here, but tonight, I plan to learn. In a few duels, I'll know everything. But I'm scared of what will happen once I learn everything. I know that I shouldn't be, but there's a part of me that's just paranoid about all of this.

And here I'm. This log is a fail-safe if something goes wrong and I don't come back. This means, that if you read this, something must have happened to me and Evan has taken you to replace me. The path you're going to walk will be hard, no doubt, you'll have to fix the mistakes that I made, which I greatly regret. This message is to remind you during times of despair, times when you feel completely useless and weak, that there were others much weaker than you. Ever after all my shortcomings, I'll still give my best to try and fix the mistakes I made. And I have the hope, that you'll do the same.

* * *

**Evan's POV**

_I had access to all the technology inside my house, so I knew all about the digital journal that Roxy created. I have dealt with her, and I erased any traces of her message. I haven't thought if I'll want to replace her yet, there are still parts that are salvageable, but I should be prepared either way._

_Funny thing, but after I erased the message, I went through her room to look for any other secret messages she could have left. After all, she was paranoid enough to write a digital letter, so she could have left a physical copy somewhere. And I was fortunate to make that call because I found an old journal that was hidden behind the wardrobe. It was pretty dangerous, with Miuko having put all details on her life here. I was lucky that Roxy was that much of an idiot that she wasn't able to find it._

_I set the damn journal on fire and threw it into the dumpster where it belonged. But I must admit, I'm surprised. It's been years since I reprogrammed Miuko's mind and erased that old personality, yet the brat was still able to find a way to communicate with her current self. If both Miuko and Roxy were smart enough to leave a message behind, then the other personalities that lived in-between them could have done the same while I had my back turned toward them. I'll have to erase any message those brats could have left._

_And all of them kept talking about hope. That's funny because…_

…_There is __**no**__ hope._


End file.
